Chapter 5 - Third Eye & Other Tools (Part 3)

The following is the end of the middle of the beginning. It closes a central chapter in a first book. So, I'm not kidding.

Thanks for reading.

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(cont.)

How about Mark? The guy who looked at me like I was talking Martian when I explained the Third Eye exercise to him.

I left his office certain I'd never hear from him again. But it was worth it, to offer him something that could dramatically change his life.

Oddly, when I got back to my office I got a message from him politely cursing me for taking his blinders off. He told me I could expect calls from him periodically with reports about how things were going. His message sounded something like this, "In Japan, when you save another man's life, you become responsible for it. If this doesn't work, you get to answer to my bosses. I'll call you from time to time and tell you when I'm about to try this Third Eye business. That way you'll know if you've ruined my life."

A week went by. I was wondering if I'd ever hear from him. I thought about calling, but, didn't.

The next day I got my first voice mail. It was no big deal.

"MacEwen, I'm trying this Third Eye thing today. I'm out of options. It's Thursday at 4 pm. If you call my desk on Monday and someone else answers, it means I got fired for trying your trick.... Bye."

Monday came and went. Tuesday, I noticed the clock. 10 am. Nothing. 11 am. No email. No call.

Finally, lunch. I tried his cell. Why call and talk to his replacement?

The phone rang, loud and long.

"Hello?"

"Mark?"

"Yes.., MacEwen?!"

"Yeah!"

"Hey, I gotta run, I'm on my way to a meeting. I just got budget approval for that one project. Actually, I got three of the ground. Listen I gotta call you back, but you won't believe what's going on."

Click.

Three days later I get a cryptic email.

"You're a genius."

That's it. And then, one Saturday - this guy never calls me on a Saturday - Mark calls me up.

"...So, I'm sitting in my office and I'm looking at the world from the eye of my boss on this metric project. Its been stalled for 14 months. He says he wants it, but tells me to wait over a year for some, blah blah blah account to clear. I know he's full of shit. But when I'm looking from his eye, seeing his kids at home in the morning and his wife, and the crap he's dealing with in his department, suddenly I see how it is that he doesn't fully trust me to take this off his plate. It's as clear as day. And there I am, looking at myself through his eye.

"And its my team he has questions about. He doesn't trust the staff I proposed on this team and because of that, he doesn't fully trust my judgement. In fact, when I'm sitting there, looking at the world through his eyes, I see everything so completely differently. The scale of stress is enormous. Here's a guy with two little girls. He sees them for three hours a week. As I'm sitting there, bouncing my little girl on my knee and thinking in my mind about the staff proposed on this project, my attention keeps stopping on one of our newer recruits in a short-sleeved shirt. I can't seem to get him to look me in the eye. I don't connect with him and I don't want him responsible for this level of number crunching. Too much is riding on it. Amazing!

"There was NO way I could have known he was going through that without this exercise. I had the budget approved. I had the plan approved. I thought I had the staff approved, and yet, I couldn't get the start date firm or the project off the ground. The minute I made a change to the proposed staff, the project flew. That eye thing is genius.

"Next week, I brought two more projects back from the dead. My bosses think I'm a God!"

It feels SO good to hear someone get so much from this simple piece. A wise one once said, "What you are looking for, you are looking with." That's HUGE!

In all of the examples from above, what would it do to close your eyes, just for a minute, and look at the world through that Third Eye. Adopt the exact perspective of the person who has found their way past your armor. Use that momentary invasion to your advantage. Borrow their perspective and see what it is in the world that is keeping them from connecting to you fully, and then own it. Provide it.

How much do you want to bet, they'll think you are magic. Don't explain yourself. Just deliver. "Thought this might help." And walk away.

For more on these types of management techniques, look into Geshe Michael Roach's seminal work, The Diamond Cutter.

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Next we'll get into enjoying being disliked. Sound painful? Not when I'm through.

Chapter 5 - Third Eye & Other Tools (Part 2)

The following is an excerpt from a self-releasing book written by the Universe and published on the Interweb... really.

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(cont.)

So here's how the Third Eye works.

Traditionally, eastern philosophy has referred to the Third Eye as the mind's eye, or the eye to the soul. I'm starting there because I think it is important that we tie this to a place of possibility, of little miracles.

The miracle here is being able to identify a breakdown, a gap. The gap represents the unknown. The unknown represents some degree of fear. No one can effectively lead from a place of fear. And many do not know what to do when they arrive at this place.

Give yourself a 10 minute break. Shut off your phone, close your door and close your eyes for one minute. Maybe two. And try this out.

Focus your attention on the center of your forehead.

Imagine you have an eye there.

Only, it isn't yours.

Instead, it belongs to the person you cannot seem to understand in this moment.

Got it? Make sure you are physically sensing this eye.

Now, see what this point of view would show you, if you could genuinely see through the eye of this person.

I'm not talking about making stuff up. I'm not talking about imagining what their life should be like.

Be open.

What do you see?

Let's say you have a contractor who is negotiating a raise. They've listed all the attributes they feel they have demonstrated in order to be deserving of a raise, and yet, when you look at it, their performance is lacking, their attitude is sour, they just don't have what it takes to earn the raise. Giving it to them would be a bad example to other contractors.

This happened to a client of mine who asked me to help. I closed my eyes. I got very centered, calm and clear. I focused on the space in the middle of my forehead and I made my Third Eye the eye of this contractor. I looked at the world as they saw it waking up in the morning, brushing teeth, eating a meal and preparing for the day. I looked at the world of a relationship with a husband and the concerns of showing up with enough to support the household. I looked at the world from the bus I rode to work each day. I looked at what it meant that my husband had just lost half of his hours and how I could do something to fill in the gap! Through that eye, I looked out on the world of immediate possibilities and felt in my heart what the available choices and responsibilities felt like for this person. And I was Shown Compassion!

Bam!

The Third Eye delivered an understanding so clear and complete of what was happening in this person's life. Now we had a place of powerful empathy that we could work from. An appointment was set to speak with the contractor. It was learned that there were some financial strains at home and that more income would help. It was also explained that a new attitude at work would need to be adopted for performance to earn a raise. And, shortly thereafter this contractor earned a bonus that inspired her and her husband. He started showing up better for work, based on his wife's example and soon got all of his hours back and more.

And this was turned around by a genuine concern being brought to a still quiet place of asking to be shown. Very powerful.

Marty, from above, saw someone who was uncertain of what they wanted. With his eyes closed he could recognize that rather than ask for help, the client just strung him along. He described what he saw through his third eye like this, "It was amazing. She was at her desk and she was tapping her pencil. She had a question to ask and couldn't think of how to voice it. She'd had a rough drive in to the office. She'd had a lousy meeting to launch her day. She just felt stuck and the only thing repeating in her mind is how much she didn't want to have to ask for help. She just wanted it done already." Pow! He saw, from her perspective, and with total compassion, her fear of asking for help.

At that point he threw away what he knew about the client on paper.

As odd as it seemed to him that she was a client who was paying him to help, her biggest hold-up was asking for it. When he offered to devise an end-to-end solution for her, she responded with enthusiasm. In the past when he'd offered solutions she'd pushed back saying not this, or not that.

When he said, "Would you like me to come up with an end-to-end solution for you so you can stop thinking about this entirely?" She said, "Yes." And that was that.

He would have kept waiting for instructions and sending her empty invoices for ever. By using the Third Eye, he was able to discover a way of servicing his Principle. Once he opened that Third Eye, he was able to service the client, get back to staffing his company, and open new accounts.

His company grew rapidly from then on.

Good stuff.

(to be cont....)

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More next. Promise.

Chapter 5 - Third Eye & Other Tools

We're clipping along now in this book. Thank you for reading along these excerpts from this upcoming release.

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One of the hardest and most important leadership qualities to develop is empathy. This is a quick and simple way to arrive at, and maintain empathy. This approach is unique in that we'll be taking an ancient concept and applying it in a new way.

We spoke about "concern" in the last chapter, and here we'll be looking at a new tool that can help you, not only with your clients, but also with the people you are leading in support of your vision. All leaders have a vision. Its how you shape the future. Any leader can only carry out their vision through other people.

This tool, above all others will provide you a way of connecting very deeply with anyone. It will take a lot of patience, and you may need to use the Forgiveness Script from Chapter 2 in order to be prepared.

And before we get into the meat and bones of this tool, lets look at what it can alleviate first.

Tell me if you can relate.

Marty had a customer who never knew what she wanted. Marty is an IT wizard and he helps high end individuals and profitable companies with Information Technology solutions from implementations to training. His client list is exclusive, and his zest for successful relationships with technology is infectious.

And yet, even with Marty's extraordinary commitment to the Principle of Learning, and his incredible service to the standards around that, he was having trouble getting this client to make up her mind.

Normally that wouldn't be a big deal, but at the time, Marty's company was growing.

He had a lot of other customers asking for his attention and was in the process of hiring a handful of people to help him harness all this growth. That is a major drag. When you are building your dream, and the market is handing you everything you asked for and you have to watch it drift by, just out of arms reach.

Sound familiar?

Or how about Mark, a director at a top Bio-tech company. He was charged with driving six projects inside of two business units. Each project had to have three elements to move forward. A plan, staffing, and a budget. Approval for each element came from different places. Each plan had over four staff. Do the math. Mark is reporting to at least 18 internal clients. He is directing at least 72 people. Each of those touch on around 2 internal clients of their own.

You can see how involved his world gets.

To make matters more complicated, remember Mark has six projects, each with three components. Only some of his projects have approval on the plan. Others have approval on the staffing. A couple have approval on the budget.

Only one has approval on all three.

How much work is Mark responsible for? And how much work is getting done?

See Mark run.

A lot of companies' executives are in this predicament. When I started working with Mark, I showed him the Third Eye trick and it changed his world.

I sat across his desk from him, and he looked at me like I was mad. And then, I explained it to him, carefully and slowly. Like I will with you.

I reminded him that he knew how things would go without trying something new. Pretty much the way they were going right now.

Terribly.

So he tried it.

Just in case none of these examples are sinking in, we'll try these on, and then dive in. Because the third eye is simple. And what it addresses is some pretty intense stuff.

It's all that emotional overwhelm that can happen in an instant.

How about when we're about to close a big deal and the boss comes in, throws something on our desk and takes off. No explanation, and now your rhythm is shot.

Or you're excited to see your significant other. You've bought a card and a gift, a really thoughtful gift, it took hours to pick out. There's a great night together planned. And then, the minute you see your loved one, they blow up about something that happened to them earlier in the day and it takes all the air out of your tires.

Even an e-mail, or a piece of news, the littlest thing can take away that peace, if you let it.

So here's how the Third Eye works.

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Yup, that's right. You'll have to come back in a couple days to get into the heart of it. I'm sure by now you understand. I appreciate your interest and attention.